17 June 2009

Enjoy the Parade LA

"I can't stop thinking about Joey Buss. Granted, there's a chance I would have been just as tongue-tied on national TV at age 19. But who thought it was a good idea to have him speak extemporaneously in front of a worldwide audience? How did he become the "alternate governor of the Lakers," and what does that mean? Are people in Southern California frightened that two of their governors are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Joey Buss? Did they throw him out there to answer the question, "What would have happened if Fredo had gotten control of the Corleone family?" Did they bring him out to make the Maloofs feel better about themselves as overmatched legacy kids? Has he ever been discreetly stared at by a bunch of country club workers and had one of them say, "Fifty bucks says the Buss kid picks his nose." Do I have to retire the Unintentional Comedy Scale now?

Where was Jerry Buss? Where was Jeanie Buss? How did this happen? How can I get more Joey Buss in my life? And why didn't I know about him before Sunday night? More importantly, when are they putting the Buss boys in charge of the Lakers????? I vote for right now. Like, today. This moment. Please. I am begging you. This would be like a cross between the Hank Steinbrenner Era and "Tommy Boy." I never thought there would be a silver lining with a Lakers title, but dammit, there was."

-- Bill Simmons A) always provides the opinion I have, better and B) reminds me why I love the intricicies of life, laughter and the shitshow that is the Los Angeles Lakers. Good luck with the "Demand of More" from everyone, including Sasha.

And once again may I remind you this guy (not Sasha) tagged along and will get a ring, and will likely have to fly in from some podunk European country where he is playing to collect it. He will hold it up to the crowd and get no response whatsoever except for the drunk middle-aged "WOOO!" women in attendance.

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